A colleague of
mine looked worried the other day. He was distressed and was visibly agitated. He
appeared emotionally battered. I was concerned. He is my friend so I asked him
"What is wrong? Can I help?"
"It is
my girlfriend" he confessed.
"Our
relationship has gone stale".
"Shit!" I thought. Relationships. Matters of the
heart. I am most unqualified in dealing with such issues.
I suck.
So I had a
moment of instant regret and I immediately wished to detract the offer of
assistance. I need not have worried though. He had a solution.
"I
need to practice my spontaneity" he said.
He was
earnest. He was serious. He was fair dinkum. It was brilliant.
It was doomed
for failure but I loved it.
Singapore is
the land of the oxymoron. Many are imported. There are plenty and I hear them
all the time. I need to write them down. As a lover of words they light my
fire.
They rock my
boat.
"This
is very unique" - or this is "quite unique" is a beauty. It is thrown
my way often.
I gobble it
up.
I devour
it.
Many of these
classics are American. The brutalizers of the English language. "Good
Grief". "Jumbo Shrimp". "Plastic Glasses". "Alone
Together". "Found Missing". "Peace Forces".
"Whopper Junior". "Slave Wages". "Random Order".
"Organized Chaos". "African American". "Pretty
Ugly"
I could offer
up some more.
Many
more.
I could go on
and on in fact however I am distracted now by the thought of my friend practicing
his spontaneity. In front of a full length mirror.
Doing Genuine
Imitations.
While
I Silently Scream.
This is very clever and very funny. Bravo peterheppo
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