At my office I
am surrounded by the English. British in fact. Opposite me sits a Welsh and a
Scottish girl. They are bonny lassies. To my left is also a Scot. She is also
bonny. In the distance I can see two more of the English. One of these is a
Northerner. He is from Lancashire.
“AYE OOP”.
This is a
common greeting for those from the North. It means 'hello'.
The
Northerners are shunned by both the Southerners and the Scots. They are British
nevertheless. They are part of the United Kingdom. There is also an Irish.
There is always an Irish. I can also see an American and behind me sit three
more English. These three are all Londoners. There is also a Kiwi and a
Japanese guy. There is only one other Australian where I work and he sits near
me.
He is from
Adelaide.
He is a South
Australian.
We all get
along very well in our office. We interact both professionally and socially. We
have a laugh. One of the English is a bit of a larrikin. He enjoys a prank. He
likes a good joke. This Englishman is a strapping lad. He is six feet seven
inches in the old scale. Two meters in the metric. He is a very big unit
whichever way you measure him. The girls love him.
We all do.
All Pranksters
needs victims. This English bloke - the big fella - he prefers his
Australian.
We
understand.
We respect
it.
We like ours
British.
I was an early
victim. When I was new.
Naive.
Raw.
I was caught
unawares.
I was easy
pickings.
There were a
few of us in Bombay and we had been in meetings all day. We were productive. We
shared a very good curry for dinner. It was a great curry actually. They always
are in Bombay. It was where curry was invented. As is usual we all stayed at
the same hotel. A hang-on-your-door room service breakfast menu was completed
for me and then it was hung on my door. Unbeknown to me until breakfast arrived.
At 4.30am. Every item on the menu had been ordered. This was followed up by a
5.30am wake up call. A most excellent double.
Nice one Poms.
The other
Aussie - the South Australian - was got recently. He'd been making noise for a
while about an upcoming holiday. He was going on vacation. It was a golf trip
and he was going for a week. With his mates. From Australia.
To Phuket.
As the day of his
departure neared he got more excited and more vocal. He said "bewdy"
a lot and rubbed his hands together. He was gleeful. For those of us
not going (which was all of us) he was too happy. Way too happy. He left on a
Friday and he had booked an early afternoon flight. He came to the office with his
golf bag and his suitcase in tow. He was taking a taxi straight to the airport.
Silly boy.
He didn't
think.
The English
Pranksters.
It was too
easy.
It was manna
from heaven.
When lured to
a last minute meeting - the English removed all socks, underwear and toiletries
from his suitcase - and his shoes. They were secreted away. The victim was
emailed a photo of the articles as he was boarding his flight. He took it
stoically. He saw the humor.
It was a
beauty.
It was a
cracker.
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