Tick Tock. How did it get so late so soon? Here I am. Trapped in the amber of the moment. There is no why. There is no how. The clock ticks and seconds, minutes, hours and days pass by.
There goes a year.
The past increases and the future seems to recede. As the years start to run into each other it seems that my possibilities are no longer limitless. My regrets are mounting.
What to do?
Time is an unstoppable force. It is my enemy and it will inevitably defeat me. I don't stand a chance. Time is a thief too. It has robbed me of my youth. It takes it all. Everything. Whether I want it to or not. I hate it. It never does what I want it to do. Each moment is a paradox of now or never. It is something that can't be replaced.
Time is a fucker.
I need to remind myself that the future starts today. Not tomorrow. The future is in fact only a split second away. Shit. Here it comes now. Today will die tomorrow. Time kills it. It is a murderous son of a bitch. It is such an unreliable and torturous force as well. When i was holidaying back in Australia I wanted it to stop but it flew by so fast. Now I am back in Singapore it has slowed to a crawl.
It is a mysterious substance too. I can't feel it and I can't touch it. But it impacts on everything I do. It has value though. This unstoppable force. As I get older I realize that it is the most valuable thing that I can spend. It is the most precious thing there is.
It is so perishable though. I have been wasteful before but I now need to spend it wisely. I must not squander it.
If Time were a commodity then Yesterday would be expensive. Tomorrow would be cheap.
So what then is eternity? Is it an infinite extension of time or is it a complete absence of time? I don't know. I don't know. It seems to be able to do so many things this Time. Sometimes it it seems to move so rapidly. Occasionally it seems to stand still. It always runs out though. Always. This is what scares me. I know can't fight it but I don't want to waste it anymore.
I can't afford it.