I love Pork
Pies and believe that they are possibly England’s greatest contribution to the
modern culinary world. I eat mine with a little Bramston Pickle, which is also
English.
We have a rule
amongst the staff where I sit that if you go to London for work or for leisure,
you bring back pork pies. Melton Mowbray Pork pies to be specific. As many as
you can carry.
Eavan returned
from the UK today. She had been back in Edinburgh where she was visiting her
sister who has just had a baby - her first one. So Eavan is now an aunt. She is
Aunty Eavan. She is very chuffed and so she should be. I have seen photos of
the baby. It is a girl and she is adorable.
She is
gorgeous.
The same Pork
Pie rule applies for Hong Kong too. One can get pork pies from Marks and
Spencers there. In Central. The Queens Road store. The food section is in the
basement. We have Marks and Spencers here in Singapore but they don’t stock
pork pies. I have asked them why before and they told me it is a Halal thing.
Halal means
‘permissible’ and it is a term designating any object or an action which
is permissible to use or engage in according to Islamic law. Pork is not
permissible. All pig products are verboten. Pork, ham and bacon are not Halal.
Marks and Spencers in Singapore have a Halal agreement regarding pork pies so
they do not stock them.
Eavan bought
back eight pork pies and she also bought back some shortbread fingers as well
as a haggis for Joanna. Joanna is Scottish - like Eavan. They are both very
bonnie lassies and I like them both a lot. They are dear friends of mine.
I have tried
haggis before but reluctantly I might add. Joanna is welcome to it. I don’t
like it at all. Haggis is the national dish of Scotland. It is a large round
sausage made out of the liver, heart and lungs of a sheep. The essential
organs. This offal is finely minced and is then mixed with beef or mutton suet
then oatmeal is added and it is seasoned with onion, cayenne pepper and a few
other spices. The mixture is packed into a sheep's stomach and it is then
boiled.
Horrific
huh?
Yuck.
Well I think
so.
I swooped on
the pork pies that Eavan bought back from the UK and I claimed them as my own.
Eavan didn't mind because she knows that I love them. I gave one each to Dave
and the Hammer who are both English. They also love pork pies. One was probably
not enough for the Hammer as he is a very large Northerner - from Lancashire.
The Hammer eats everything and anything and particularly if it is for free. It
is the Northerner way. The Hammer could easily have devoured all eight pork
pies in one sitting. I will tell you now that these are mini pork pies. They
are the 100 gram versions and not the big ones.
A pork pie is
also rhyming slang for a lie. I have told pork pies before and I have been told
many. I generally abhor them though. Honesty is always the best policy and
liars generally get caught out.
Mark Twain
wrote:
"If
you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything."
He also
invented the name "Huckleberry". Twain is one of the great American
writers and I have read all of his works. I have read some several times
over.
He is that
good.
I decided to
hide the remaining pork pies in the staff fridge and take them home for my
dinner. I told the Hammer there was none left. I told a pork pie. I put them in
a plain paper bag and placed them in the back of the fridge. They were out of
sight. The staff fridge is located in our cafeteria. On my way there I noticed
several signs denoting the time and location for various training sessions that
were being conducted today. These signs are mounted in the foyer on the same
floor where my desk is located. The training and meeting rooms for the Bank are
also located on the same floor - as is the staff cafeteria. One of the notices
informed that there was "Time Management" training being conducted in
Meeting Room 3. It was being conducted from 9.00am until 6.00pm.
I couldn't
resist. It was manna from heaven. After safely depositing the pork pies I
strolled back to my desk and grabbed a yellow "Post It" note. Upon
which I wrote the words, "RUNNING LATE." in bold letters. I then
stuck it on the training notice.
The
"Post-It" note is also known as the "Sticky Note"- a
scientist named Arthur Fry in 1974 invented it. He was working for a company
called 3M at the time. The “Post It” note is a piece of paper stationery with a
re-adherable strip of adhesive on the back. It is designed for temporarily
attaching notes to documents and other surfaces. We have all seen them and we
all use them. They have made the 3M company a fortune.
When I walked
past the sign later in the morning I noticed that my “Post It” note had been
removed. So I replaced it. It was later removed again. This happened throughout
the course of the day - four times to be exact. When I left the building this
evening I caught the lift down with some of the training participants - the
ones in the Time Management training session. I was carrying the paper bag that
contained my pork pies.
They were in
hand.
For my
dinner.
The training
participants in the lift were talking amongst themselves and they were
discussing how angry the Training Facilitator was at the "RUNNING
LATE" messages. I know who the training facilitator is for I have
dealt with him before. He is a very serious guy with little sense of humor.
He is witless.
The training
participants thought that the "RUNNING LATE" notes were funny. I
remained silent on the matter although I was chuckling inside. I felt no
obligation to confess that the perpetrator was me however I thought that it was
funny too.
I
wouldn’t have done it otherwise.
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