A Dutch friend
of mine sent me this image by email today. The picture is of a tulip field in a
place called Lisse in the Netherlands.
It is pretty spectacular.
It is pretty spectacular.
My Dutch
friend's name is Godewyn but I used to call him God for short.
We all did and I still do.
He would constantly correct us and tell us to pronounce it 'Gode' - but we much preferred God. God is a Banker who used to live here in Singapore and he is as mad as a cut snake. He has a Harvard education which he harps on about that no-one cares too much. Harvard is just one of many schools and Oxford or Cambridge or Sydney University would impress us more. God returned to Europe earlier this year but not to the Netherlands.
We all did and I still do.
He would constantly correct us and tell us to pronounce it 'Gode' - but we much preferred God. God is a Banker who used to live here in Singapore and he is as mad as a cut snake. He has a Harvard education which he harps on about that no-one cares too much. Harvard is just one of many schools and Oxford or Cambridge or Sydney University would impress us more. God returned to Europe earlier this year but not to the Netherlands.
God now lives
in London.
God did not
take this picture and I am not sure where he got it from. He often sends me
random pictures of scenes of Holland. He has sent me several pictures of
windmills before as well as images of cheese and clogs. I have asked him to
stop but he persists. I have pondered acts of retaliation by sending him
pictures of kangaroos and koala bears but I simply couldn't be bothered.
Many Dutch
people are quite mad - like God.
When I was a lot younger I spent quite a bit of time in Holland. I spent most of my time in Amsterdam but I wandered around the Dutch countryside as well. I was traveling and was just meandering about the world during this period of my life.
When I was a lot younger I spent quite a bit of time in Holland. I spent most of my time in Amsterdam but I wandered around the Dutch countryside as well. I was traveling and was just meandering about the world during this period of my life.
I recall
sitting at outdoor cafes and getting great pleasure from watching the Dutch lunatics
riding their bicycles past and walking the streets. Holland had and still does
have a very liberal policy on the use of recreational drugs and I suspect that
this is a contributing factor to the madness. My time in the Netherlands was
very entertaining and I have many good and happy memories of the country and
the people.
The
legalization of recreational drugs in Holland is tied to a very Dutch concept
they call "gedoogbeleid".
It is as difficult to pronounce as it is to spell.
My spell-check function on my laptop computer has gone into a frenzy of rejection of it.
When I try and say "gedoogbeleid" it gets stuck in my throat.
It is as difficult to pronounce as it is to spell.
My spell-check function on my laptop computer has gone into a frenzy of rejection of it.
When I try and say "gedoogbeleid" it gets stuck in my throat.
There is
no direct or literal translation of the term "gedoogbeleid" but
it pretty much means that ‘we-don't-really-give-a-shit-because-there-are-bigger-things-to-worry-about’.
There are bigger things to worry about for the Netherlands is a very flat and
geographically low lying country. Approximately 20% of its total area and its
population are located below sea level. More than half of its land is situated
less than one meter above the current sea level. This is in fact the origin of
the country's name for the Netherlands translates to 'low country'.
Such low lying
land has made the Netherlands exceptionally prone to flooding and an enormous
series of dykes have been constructed to protect it from being overwhelmed and
consumed by the sea. A dyke is an artificial wall that is constructed to hold
back water. The Americans refer to these constructs as levees and in Australia
we call them dams.
A dyke is also
a derogatory term for a lesbian.
Dam is a slightly rude word that is the equivalent to saying ‘buggar’.
Levee is just another made-up American word of no real consequence.
Dam is a slightly rude word that is the equivalent to saying ‘buggar’.
Levee is just another made-up American word of no real consequence.
The
construction of dykes and sea walls in the Netherlands commenced in the 1950's
and it continues to this day. It is known as the "Delta Project". The
project consists of more than 3,000 kilometers of outer sea-dykes and 10,000
kilometers of canal and river dykes. The Delta project is one of the modern
engineering marvels of the world.
It really is.
Irrespective
of these massive barriers - the predictions of rising sea levels due to climate
change place the Netherlands in great peril and their country could well be
consumed by the sea in next century or even sooner. It is no wonder the Dutch
don't give a "gedoogbeleid" about smoking a little reefer
or woofing down the odd magic mushroom or space cake.
Drowning is a
much bigger concern for them.
There is a
very famous story which includes a tale of a little Dutch boy who uses a finger
to plug a hole in a leaking dyke to save his village from being flooded. I
remember this story from when I was a very small child. Interestingly the tale
was written by an American author and her name was Mary Mapes Dodge. The story
was first published in 1865 in a book called 'The Silver Skates".
The tale of the little boy who puts his finger in the dyke is incidental and it
is not the major theme. The main story is about a character named Hans Brinkler
and his endeavor to win a pair of silver skates in a speed ice skating
competition in his village.
Not many people recollect this though.
We all seem to remember the little boy with his finger in the dyke.
Not many people recollect this though.
We all seem to remember the little boy with his finger in the dyke.
Dick Van Dyke
was an American comedic actor who I mostly associate now with alcoholism. I
assume that he has Dutch ancestry. Two of my favorite childhood films were
'Mary Poppins' and "Chitty Chitty Bang Bang' in which Dick starred. He was
apparently wasted throughout the filming of both movies.
He was
hammered.
I recall watching
a documentary that was made about his struggle with alcoholism when I was in
high school.
It was very
graphic and moving.
When I think
of Holland I think of clogs, bicycles, dykes, cheese, fluffy little pancakes
called poffertjes, sprinkles on bread, pickled herring, prostitutes in
shop windows, dope, tulips and windmills - and God of course.
My Dutch Banker friend.
My Dutch Banker friend.
Not the deity.
Much of what I
associate with Holland is bizarre and it triggers recollections of the madness
of the place and the people. I have very fond memories of my time in Amsterdam
and traveling to the Dutch countryside. I went to many little villages that
were famous for their cheese and I attended quite a few very strange cheese
festivals where locals would dress up in traditional costumes and prance around
with enormous balls of cheese.
There was much
thigh slapping and dancing and whooping about village squares in a celebration
of cheese. It is indicative of the lunacy of the place.
Here is a
picture of a Dutch cheese festival:
I also
remember being quite taken with my first Dutch breakfast - way back when I was
a traveling teen. I awoke quite hung-over on my first morning on a houseboat in
Amsterdam and I was served coffee in a huge bowl without any handle, some hunks
of cheese, a few pieces of dried salted meats and some slices of bread topped
with colorful sprinkles.
The Dutch like
putting sprinkles on their bread and toast for their breakfast. You know the
type - we used to serve it up for little children at birthday parties. We
called them 'hundreds and thousands' in Australia and we referred to it as
'fairy bread'. Dutch adults love it for their breakfast and they call it "hagelslag".
When I told God that I thought that hagelslag" was a strange
and childish thing for adults to have for their breakfast he swore at me in a
guttural Dutch fashion.
God did this quite often and I liked it a lot.
God did this quite often and I liked it a lot.
I kind of miss
it.
I once asked
God why the people of Holland are called Dutch and I told him that it would
seem more appropriate to refer to them as Hollanders. God informed me that it
was the English who in fact referred to them as such and that the Dutch refer
to themselves as "Duutsc" and they call their German neighbors
"Duits".
When God spoke
of Germans he spat their names out with some contempt and he also called them
"Modderfokkers".
The Dutch don't like the Germans.
The Dutch don't like the Germans.
I think it is
a World War Two thing.
It has been
nice reminiscing about Holland and the Dutch and for this I thank God.
My Banker
friend.
Not the deity.
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