So today I packed myself a picnic lunch.
I slipped on my new heels, grabbed my kite and prepared to run down to the local park so I could lean back and eat, smoke and drink.
It was cloudy – so I took my umbrella too.
I slipped on my new heels, grabbed my kite and prepared to run down to the local park so I could lean back and eat, smoke and drink.
It was cloudy – so I took my umbrella too.
I
was planning on doing a little jumping on the spot as well.
When
I got to the park I was thwarted.
I
often am.
This
sign greeted me:
My friends from
other parts of the world think I make stuff up about Singapore and the madness
here.
Yeah OK – I often
do.
In this instance I
am not though.
Making it up.
This sign is the
real deal.
They are all over
the place.
I often wonder who
it is in government that decides such stuff.
No leaning?
Really?
No heels or
umbrellas?
It rains here all
the time.
Suddenly and
violently.
I challenge
injustice by nature. My parents raised me thus as well - however rules are rules, and consequences can be severe here on the Island.
It is quite
possible that wearing heels in a non-heel zone could carry a heavy term of
imprisonment in Singapore and I am fairly sure that flying a kite is punishable
by twenty lashes of the cane.
I understand that
leaning in a public park is a capital offence.
Leaners are caned
then hung and then set on fire.
They are then hung
again.
Or it that hanged?
Either way – it is
not pleasant.
The words ‘can’
and ‘la’ are the most common that are uttered on the Island however both are
trumped by ‘cannot’.
Many things are a ‘cannot’.
I have written
previously about the illegality of nudity here in Singapore.
It is not
permitted.
Even in your own
home.
If a native were
to pass by your window and see you naked they could call the police who would
be compelled to arrest you.
I am most serious.
Google it.
So feeling
somewhat dejected – and carrying my kite, umbrella, picnic basket – and limping
in my new heels – I passed by Singapore’s Speaker’s Corner.
The original
Speakers Corner is located in Hyde Park in London.
It was established
in the late nineteenth entry to allow for British citizens to exercise their
freedom of speech in a public domain. I have been there on a number of times
before and I have witnessed all manner of lunatics standing up on boxes and
speaking their mind.
It was very
entertaining.
Great and
significant orators such as George Orwell and Karl Marx have made magnificent
speeches at the English Speakers Corner however I was not there to witness
these speeches.
I am not quite that
old.
The Singapore
equivalent Of Speakers Corner is located in the Hong Lim Park just outside the
central business district of Singapore and was established on the first of
September in the year 2000. I have been there before on a number of occasions
but have I never seen anyone actually speaking.
Publically
speaking that is.
I have witnessed
groups of people having normal everyday conversations there.
As with all things
in Singapore there are a number of rules and regulations that apply to speaking
at Speakers Corner and these are listed under the Public Entertainments and
Speaking Act.
When I arrived at
the park I was a bit surprised to see that it was surrounded by a dozen or so
very heavily armed policemen. They were all carrying enormous machine guns and
they were looking very serious. I strolled nonchalantly into the park and
approached a quite elderly officer. He was the only one not carrying a
machine gun and he looked as if he was in charge.
"Good
morning uncle"
I announced.
"Are you
expecting trouble?"
"Maybe" he grunted.
"Kites?" I enquired.
"Perhaps" he replied.
"You will
shoot them?"
"No"
"I would
like to give a protest speech about the English. Can?"
"You have
a permit?"
"I do
not"
"Then
cannot"
"Cannot?" I asked.
"Cannot,”
he repeated.
"But there
is no-one here to listen" I retorted.
"It would
be like speaking to myself"
"Cannot"
"OK what
if I sat on the lawn over there and spoke quietly to myself. Can?
"You have
a permit?"
"I do
not"
"Then
cannot"
"Is leaning permitted here?" I enquired.
I received a stern but blank look that I could only assume was a 'no'
I was a bit worried about the guys with the guns so I decided that pursuing the matter any further was both futile and also potentially dangerous. I am also quite OK protesting about the English direct to the English in my own office for I do this on a daily basis anyway.
"Is leaning permitted here?" I enquired.
I received a stern but blank look that I could only assume was a 'no'
I was a bit worried about the guys with the guns so I decided that pursuing the matter any further was both futile and also potentially dangerous. I am also quite OK protesting about the English direct to the English in my own office for I do this on a daily basis anyway.
Anyone who would
like to speak at Speakers Corner here in Singapore must register their
intention to speak at the Kreta Ayer Police Station no less than thirty days
before they intend speaking.
Under the
legislation only Singaporean citizens or permanent residents of Singapore are
allowed to speak. As a guest of Singapore who is working here on an Employment
Pass I am ineligible to publicly voice my opinions or protest or demonstrate at
Speakers Corner.
Even about the
English.
Even with a
permit.
The use of
banners, flags, photographs, signs or writing is prohibited and people making
speeches can only do so in one of the four official languages of Singapore.
These are English, Mandarin, Tamil or Malay. Speeches are not permitted that
deal with any subject that relate to religion or race. Topics that may cause
feelings of "enmity, hatred, ill-will or hostility" are also not
permitted and no political demonstrations are allowed.
Otherwise complete
and utter freedom of speech is permissible.
It seemed futile
to have my picnic and kite flying lunch here and I was too afraid to linger and
lean so I went home.
It turns out that
the police are in full swing on the island as the current Prime Minister’s
father – the very first Prime Minister – Mr. Lee Kwan Yue - is gravely ill and
his death is imminent.
He is – and soon
be was – a very great man who every Singaporean should be proud of
I am not quite
sure why his imminent death requires such a big police presence on the
streets however I am a bit nervous about asking anyone why.
It may well be
illegal.
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